Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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