I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
