belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
