i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
