we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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