apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
