haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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