yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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