I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
