Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
