If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
