this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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