i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
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