Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
