i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
