i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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