It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
