I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
