i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
