oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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