just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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