he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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