I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
