Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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