McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
