Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Who died my cat blue again?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
