And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it glows. i had to have it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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