So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He shit in the fireplace
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
try to milk me bitch
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