No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
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