party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
