i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
