She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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