Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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