i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
