rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
