Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
