I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
