so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
