I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
