I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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