Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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