it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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