In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
