I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
