found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
