Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
