he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
