you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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