dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
