Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
