i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
