He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
