God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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