would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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