So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
