One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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